“Acting is happy agony.” -Jean-Paul Sartre

I'm in a very weird state right now. I'm dealing with a lot of issues (not drama, just internal nuisances) so this one might be all over the place. For that, I apologize in advanced.

Sometimes I don't realize how important strike is for an actor. For me, and especially with this last role in "Cabin Fever", once the show was over I didn't feel like it was over. I kept feeling the role and doing the physicality of the character. There was nothing to stop me. It wasn't until we started strike that Pidge slowly but surely left me. The feelings I get during the show and before the show all left with every task that I performed. I know that strikes suck because you just gave your all during a performance and now have to work two extra hours taking down the set; but strike actually gives me closure. I feel a sense of accomplishment after taking down the set, like the process has been completed from the audition process to now. I guess I also see it as taking down the world in which you (as your character) lived in. With the destruction of that world, there is no character for you to live through. It's kind of sad, really.

But I find it funny because sometimes I'll catch myself doing Pidge mannerisms. I embodied that character more than I ever have in a role before, so it would make sense that she's still within me. It's harder to shake her off. I'll sit like her a lot, which makes me laugh. It's so hard to let her go, though, since she was a great character to play. I'm just worried that I will never get to play a character as complex and layered as she was.

Anyways...I guess I will finally say goodbye to Pidge and move on to my other acting endeavors.

By the way, I decided to put a slide show on my page with photos taken from the productions I've been in. I figured since this is my acting blog, I should have some sort of something that people can look to when I make references to past shows I've been in. I also enjoy being reminded of those plays and seeing me grow as an actor. It's just fun.

We opened "The Lone Star Love Potion" last night, and it went very well. I was extremely worried about the production because it kind of got pushed to the side...which is to no one's fault. It's hard when you have to work on two shows at one time, because one will always be pushed to the side, and in this case it was just simply because we had to put up two other shows before it. So going into technicals was not the best feeling because this show was the hardest in that department since it had the most sound and lighting design elements. Not the mention our lines were not at par to where we needed to be. Never the less, we pulled through and gave a pretty stellar performance. The audience went berserk, which I guess is probably normal for this show since there are so many transformations and sex. I was surprised how well I was received by the audience, which I think in part is due to the fact that some theatre people I know where there were probably reacting to the blond wig. I will take it as a win for me, though :)

We are in the home stretch now. We are running the last show and now have no more shop calls, which I am not complaining about at all. It's been a rough two months, but it's been an adventure. Thankfully I'll have this week and next week to somewhat rest and find a non-theatre related job to support myself with. Then it's on to Phallus Pan! There is no rest for the theatre weary!