[long winded make-up blog]

So, I deleted the last post because it was posted before I finished it. Life has been super hectic right now. We just put up the first show in the summer rep series, and I've been ushering with that. We open "Cabin Fever" in less than a week and "Lone Star" after that. It's actually really frightening when I think about it, since we haven't had a full run of the show without stopping. BUT I have faith in our cast. So, here is my long-winded blog about random things over the past couple of days.

I'll start with "Lone Star" because I feel like I haven't talked about it enough and if I save it for last I might not want to finish it. Even though we haven't rehearse for it as much as the other, I feel like I'm getting better direction. Walking into the rehearsal process I had an idea of what character I was going for. I saw Tammy-Jo as the goofy, Annie Oakley Texas girl. During the first couple of blocking rehearsals, he could see that I had that character pretty much down. I mean, not trying to sound cocky, but I can play the awkward, goofy character pretty well. So he sat me down and we talked about the character and he asked me to try out a different version of Tammy Jo, just to see how it played. I went for the Texas beauty queen, and it turned out that this version of the character not only had more depth but had more opportunities for funny bits. It was after having that moment that I realized what a great acting experience it can be when you have a great director. I had that same experience during "We Won't Pay!" as well. When you get good parts with good directors, they know how to encourage the creative process within you. They bring out the best in you, and it looks effortless on your part.

I've worked with this director before. He directed a short dramatic scene for one of his classes. In those few weeks working with him, he brought more out of me than most directors get with 2 months of rehearsals. I felt so rejuvenated after working with him because he knew what he wanted and how to get that out of me. And it benefited me in the long run because people got to see this dramatic side that I don't get a chance to show. I can be dramatic damnit! lol

So, needless to say I think Tammy Jo is doing just fine. The part isn't all that big or important, but it's just one of those fun, character-roles. I am a character actress, after all, so I should be grateful to get these parts as they seem few and far between in this department.

Then there's "Cabin Fever". It's not like it's a shitty experience or anything, because it's not. I have this really amazing role that I should be thankful for...and I am! But the experience isn't as rewarding as I would have hoped for. I feel lost when performing. I have this idea for the character, and I've worked really hard to make her feel real and genuine. I feel like I've had no input from the director. She'll help with random odds and ends, but she's so organic that it feels like she won't critique anything past the acting basics. I guess it helps me in a way because I'm working twice as hard on trying to observe myself more since she won't point anything out. But there's only so much I can do without an outside observer. I almost feel like a child being thrown into the deep end only knowing how to doggy paddle. After a while, will I drown or succeed in swimming? I don't know, and I guess I will never know unless someone watching gives me an honest critique.

One of the Dr.'s of the department came to watch us run Act 1 today. And it was then that one of those random theatre-reassurance moments occurred. You know those random moments that reaffirm your faith in yourself as an actor and artist? Yeah, had one of those moments. While the performances was going on, I did one of my many rambling monologues within the show, and I hear laughter coming from him. It made me jump on the inside to know that I got the first audible reaction from him for the day. I know it's small, and it probably doesn't mean anything to the random person, but to me it means everything. I collect those moments as much as I can and treasure them, because God knows that if I want to pursue this further in my life they will come less and less as the years go by. So, that was my little "Yay for the Day".

I think I've made Pidge a human role. I'm not sure what I want the audience to feel when observing her. I guess, thinking about it now, I want them feel all emotions when watching her. I want them to hate her when she's a bitch, feel scared when she has the gun, feel pity when she's trying to fight for her sister, and most importantly of all understand her at the end of it all. She can be a very unlikeable character because of her actions, but I want to try and find the humor in her to share with the audience.

Well, the show is about to let out, so I'll head home and try to relax. The next two weeks will be rough and busy, so who knows when I'll be able to update next. But, we will see.