Words, words, words!

So, "Phallus Pan" is coming to a close tonight, and it's time for some of my closing night reflection and bullshit. haha

Last night we had two performances in one night, one at 8pm and one at 12pm/am. It took a lot out of me. Doing just one show full out drains the hell out of me, but doing two shows almost killed me. I slept like a baby today. But it's also interesting because the dynamic of the midnight show was very strange. I don't know if it was because of the time or the audience or the actors or what, but it seemed to be a different show when we performed it. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, it was just different from previous performances. It was fun to play up the awkwardness too, because with each scene it kept growing and growing and I don't think they realized what would happen next. I got a little frustrated with them because they weren't as vocal with the funny bits, and I was working my ass off, but to no avail. But it's all good, sometimes they just won't respond to it. But I don't see how people can survive doing two shows a day. I guess it's a lot easier when it's a matinee and night performance rather than a night and into the early morning hours one, lol

Also, during the run of the show, we've had much opposition. There is apparently a person out there who has so much hatred and his or her....no, "its" heart that it feels the need to not only attack the show and some of the actors, but to even go outside of Limelight and attack actors not involved. I don't understand how a person could feel so much animosity towards a piece of theatre. If you don't like it, then don't come see it. It's that simple. And I guess if it offends you so much, then sure you can talk about how you don't like it. It's freedom of speech baby. But don't make any comments on a play if you've never seen it. That's plain ignorance. And when you personally attack people, that's when you've crossed the line. I don't know if we will ever truly figure out who "it" is, but I hope they realize what a coward they are and that they do not deserve to be involved in such a great art form as the theatre. I hope they end up working in some lowly job in a deserted town and have no friends. So pooh on you!

This show has been such an amazing experience for me. Like I've said before, I've never had a part like this, so it's allowed me to work on a different type of character with an extremely well developed path. People have come up to me and told me that my character was the most well developed one in the whole show, and while it's nice to hear that, I can only partially take credit for it. The playwright is the main reason Wendy is such a badass character. Without her genius on the page, I'd be nothing. But I've also been proud of the path I've discovered for Wendy and with the direction and words on the page, the combination of all three have developed into this really great character. And this is the first time I've worked with an original script and specifically with a part that was written for me. It makes me feel good that the playwright felt I could handle this role and all the shit that goes with it. And I love Wendy so much. I mean, there's a 99% chance that I would never get to be the rapER and not the rapEE. I absolutely love that. I've had the chance to do things that I've never done on stage before, so my next role will never be as amazingly frighteningly awesome as this. It's been a shitty last couple of weeks, but this show and these people have gotten me through it. And what better way to recuperate from a traumatic experience than to do it through theatre. I couldn't ask for better timing.

So, here's to the "death of theatre" and "Phallus Pan". It was a great experience! Amazing show, amazing cast, amazing role, amazing playwright, amazing director...I couldn't ask for anything more!